It was pathetic but I’m not going to speak it about it since I feel already very pathetic for being so worked over something so little. I came home from tutor and I really didn’t want to eat dinner so I just took the opportunity to lock myself in the bathroom away from my family and released all the emotions.
And now what do I do? That’s right! I read fanfics.
I’m going to start talking about the fanfic that I’ve been following, Zodiac. I don’t usually read chaptered fanfics because they take forever and I hate waiting as well. But this one. Oh my gosh when I first encountered it, there were already around 11 chapters up. And this fanfic got me staying up to 4 in the morning on a school night reading because it is just absolutely brilliant. I love the creativity behind this fanfic. I usually don’t read fantasy because none of them are great. But this one had goosebumps down my spine because it is just so epic. I guess the thing about the EXO’s supernatural abilities is the fact that fanfic writers can go crazy with their imaginations without coming across as being weird. I’m dying for the next chapter to come out. This fanfic is like the coming together of Avatar with all the air, fire, water bending stuff, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones and Harry Potter. Not to mention that I’ve replayed the fan video for the fanfic over 900 times because it lives up to every bit of epic of the fanfic.
Oh gosh the other day I came across this AMAZING fanfic called Anterograde Tomorrow. Like no joke, this fanfic is so beautiful. Usually for fanfics they’re either written really well but have shit storyline or vice versa. But this one, both good storyline and written to perfection. The desolation and hopelessness in the author’s words is just amazing and there were several moments when reading the fanfic that I would just stare at her combinations of words because it was just so beautiful. The plot is also very simple but very elegant at the same time. It’s about a man who has anterograde amnesia and then the tragic love story comes in. But it is just brilliant. The only complaint is probably the fact that the R scene wasn’t described really well and the use of the f word isn’t exactly my thing but either way…just absolutely amazing!
Someone who struggled against the overwhelming odds of loss, for a dead-end. It was kind of funny, like watching a hamster run itself to death in a wheel, for an exit that didn’t exist.
Jongin’s eyes are red. His lips are white. The silence is black.
“Do you ever wonder this—how many ten o’clocks have you spent doing the same precise thing, with the same glue gun and same bucket of marbles and the toy from the day before the day before the day before all of yesterdays? How many times have you sat down at your empty dinner table and wondered if tomorrow you will remember today?”
With time Kyungsoo notices that Jongin is really not asking questions. He’s answering them. Filling the footprints that Kyungsoo had left behind. Gentle and entrancing, consonants broken full-stop and vowels tapering to infinity. Gaze dipping far, far, away, lost somewhere in Kyungsoo’s as Kyungsoo lights his walls ablaze in a field of golden conflagration.
“Do you ever think that you can’t remember because there is nothing to remember? If you do the exact same thing every single day of the week, every week of the month, all twelve months of the year, doesn’t memory lose purpose?”
“You know,” Jongin turns, a flicker of absence over his expression, “hyung, when I used to dance, I liked the assistant. He was Chinese. Lu Han. My first love, I suppose. I respected him, followed after him, and he took care of me. And then one day I broke. Cracked under the pressure and pain and I was sick of everything. I took it out on him. He tried to fix me. Everyone tried to fix me. But you know, fixing a person isn’t like fixing a toy. When you fix a person you put yourself up to be broken.”
One of them swallows, louder than Jongin’s whisper, “And I shattered him into too many pieces.”
July is the cruelest month, and its last day the most bitter.
The thing about Jongin’s smile is that only his mouth moves upwards, so all Kyungsoo sees is a beautiful picture of pricey starched white shirts and grinning misery. A whole lot of suffering wrapped up in exposed teeth and narrowed eyes. The prettiest adjectives to dot an abandoned soul, most delicate epithets to cross a closed heart.
Kyungsoo writes that down on the Polaroid he takes of Jongin that night. This is Jongin, new neighbor, novelist, sad smile (17 July 2012). We will have interviews. He wants to write a book about me.
Well you see I was just going to compile some of the nice quotes from the fanfic but it seems like I’m just copying and pasting the entire fanfic😛
I felt like the perfect song for this fanfic would be The Day Before by Nell. The simplicity yet beauty of the song complements the fanfic really well. The Day Before happens to one of my most favourite songs of all time. I love the song so much that it is my blog name Hell, I even used the storyline of this music video as my English creative so yeah…I really love this song and I think it really matches well with the overall mood of the fanfic as well (^~^)
I think Slip Away would also really match this fanfic too ~! Oh gosh, beautiful songs + beautiful fanfic = perfection !
I swell up at the days that are to be forgotten
More so than for the days when I will be left alone
It’s the sorrowfulness that everything that will be forgotten
I swell up at the image of me erasing the memories
The image that I would get so familiar with
Guys…all the Baekyeol feels are coming back. Oh gosh they’re so dumb!
Baekhyun eating a slice of lime, getting laughed at by Chanyeol, and then continuing to eat it. (っ˘ڡ˘ς)