TABLO’S PIECES OF ME FINALLY ARRIVED! I’m so excited to start it after I finish After Dark!!!
My heart was closed. Cold.
I was self conscious and cynical.
These are the pieces of my youth,
the small secrets and the not-so-great expectations
that defined my coming of age.
But through this craft, through my love for writing,
I discovered a world outside of the small windowless one
I had built for myself,
A world of softspoken beauty.
So here I am,
Choosing to kick away the ladder
So that I may remain at your side.
I don’t why, when the little child returned my wave, I felt really really really really happy. That moment just really made me happy, I don’t know. But that amazing child is going to grow up to be a gorgeous and beautiful person 🙂
Oh gosh, spent time watching some videos on Youtube about those parliament discussion thingies. Hahaha don’t ask me why but after seeing those gifs on Tumblr and Eugenia linking it to me on Facebook, I was very interested. And gosh, the feelings of disgust when I watched them. I’ve never watched any of those government discussion forum things so the only time I see any famous political person is via the news segments and morning shows. They seem to be pretty calm and collected people. Evil, but in a sly way and it doesn’t show. But how wrong was I? Watching them was just disgusting. Personally attacking, immature people in the background, making fun of Gillard backstabbing Kevin Rudd when Kevin Rudd was right there in the crowd. And I swear, there’s this woman that always sits in the front row of the opposition party side and SHE LOOKS LIKE THE BIGGEST BITCH. I haven’t found a video of her speaking yet but she’s just a rude bitch and I just can’t stand seeing her face. I think I’m just so glad I never turned out to be a person that was particularly fond of politics and I hope my children will NEVER become like that.
After Dark arrived today. I’m a little disappointed with the size because it’s not the same as Sputnick Sweetheart so it’s not going to look neat when I place it on a bookshelf. It’s pretty small so it might be more difficult to read. I think he’s become my favourite author and I think I’m going to continue buying his books 🙂
I’ve been hearing about it a few times in the past few days and let’s just say how much I want to laugh each time.
Studying is going pretty good I guess. I think English would be a really good subject if you minus the stress and pressure of not knowing the question and the short period of time we are allowed in our exam. Yeah, I think if you take away those factors, I would probably like English a lot more because it does go into pretty deep stuff that I enjoy 😀 Biology just looks so bleak I don’t even want to touch it. Urgh!
But yeah ~ not prepared but can’t wait till it’s all over. I just hope after going through so much within the past year, I still have the energy and willpower to get through this last bit.
I’m so glad I had Anterograde Tomorrow opened in my tabs because the author set it to private but because I had it there, I could save it. Kekekeke, I feel so proud of myself ^~^ I think I realised why I can’t read actual books. It’s because English names sound so bad. They’re just so bland and uninteresting. So now, I hope I can find a lot of good translated books from Asian countries or some publisher discovers some of my favourite fanfics and makes them into a book. I really hope Anterograde Tomorrow and 48 Hours were actual books because they are just amazing.
Heard this song in the Japanese restaurant we ate at on Monday and made me fall in love with this song once again. I just love Tablo so much. He’s just amazing and I think he’s become one of the reasons I want to understand Korean – so that there’s no translation barriers in me understanding his lyrics because the ideas behind his songs are just beautiful. I really feel like his lyrics have been getting more intense and there’s underlying tones of resentment. In comparison to his past lyrics, I really feel he went through a lot of emotion turmoil because of that incident a while ago. I wish I had his ability to express my emotions as well *sigh
I’m still really torn about Epik High signing with YG btw.
I did become normal
My heart became burdensome so I emptied it out a lot
Although my smile is empty and dead, I’m the only one that my smile can’t fool
Everything is a mess
It’s springtime again for you but seasons don’t change for me
Even though you say my heart will bloom again, I’ve got no tomorrow
Don’t say that time heals all
Because each moment to me is a lifeless existence
Yes, time, it doesn’t pass by just because you walk it
Living, just because you breathe doesn’t mean you are alive,
Now, I know
You know what? I’m tired. Completely tired and sick of everything. Don’t pretend like you understand what it’s like because you don’t. What it did. How much I cried that night. How much it hurt. You’ll never know.
Yeah, trying to be subtle. Pretty sure it isn’t working well. Learning about death through Gwen Harwood’s poetry has really helped me interestingly. Just when I thought my time will never come, the irony is that, it comes. I was expecting it, just a little. But I would never expect these feelings to surface when I heard it straight from him. I just hope that I won’t have to face it and God spare me some more time.
Sputnick Sweetheart arrived and I’m so excited to read it! I bought a highlighter today because I want to highlight all the quotes that I come across that appeal to me in any sort of way. It just makes the book more personal to me; so in the future when I look back, I can clearly see what I felt at the time I read it. Somewhat like a diary that requires no effort.
“So that’s how we live our lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that’s stolen from us — that’s snatched right out of our hands — even if we are left completely changed, with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence. We draw ever nearer to the end of our allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of immeasurable emptiness.”
“In the world we live in, what we know and what we don’t know are like Siamese twins, inseparable, existing in a state of confusion. Who can really distinguish between the sea and what’s reflected in it? Or tell the difference between the falling rain and loneliness.”
비…비…
우산을 접으며
오랫만에 비…너를 봐
기만에 다친…
서로의 날들…
기억…기억 하고 있어
기억…기억 하고 있어
비…비…
Haunting, beautiful song. Too bad I can’t find the english translations because it’s so unknown. Sadly.
The Day Before 